I've done it! I actually got on a stage and sang a couple of karaoke songs.
To call what I have a "singing voice" is wrong - just plain wrong. I can almost hit the notes over half the vocal range I used to have. I can hear when the note is off and correct it, which is a recent occurrence.
I have to pick songs carefully. My singing voice is incredibly raspy. Joe Cocker-like raspy. The one paralyzed vocal cord is stuck in a lower register than I used to sing in. That's why when I was first able to talk (in anything other than a hoarse whisper), my voice had dropped about an octave. Now that vocal cord provides very nice bass overtones to the "notes" my other vocal cord is attempting to sing. In many ways it's a "better" commercial voice than I used to have.
It took a lot of courage to grab a microphone and sing with what I've got left of a voice. I can put some pain in my voice. If I sing a song about things goin' bad, you will BELIEVE just by listening to the sound of my vocals.
I got a very good round of applause after my first song. I think that was the best response any singer got all night. I got polite applause after the second song, which was more than that one deserved. A couple of people told me how awesome my voice was. I took that as proof they had been at the bar too long.
If I'm careful with song selections, I'm a better blues singer now than I was before all this stuff happened. I have a sound that is associated with blues singers. I don't exactly sound like a white guy trying to "cover" any more. I am absolutely worthless at anything vocal instructors tried to teach me or in any kind of groups that might be identified as quartets, choirs, or anything else where "sounding nice" is a benefit.
But, I did it. I sang in public. I proved to myself that I can do it. Now I'm thinking of ways to work up some material that I can deal with. I have all the gear to lay down drum tracks, bass tracks, keyboards, strings, horns, etc. I can create the parts a band would play. That's a ton of work. I have to deconstruct the song to figure out and learn the various instruments parts, then reconstruct it one piece at a time. With my stamina issues, I'm going to have to give something else up to do that. The Wichita State basketball season tickets are up or consideration. Tough decision there.
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Cancer Fatigue
The Good News - Absolutely not a trace of cancer in my body.
It's normal to have a loss of stamina and energy after radiation and chemo. It's almost 18 months since my treatments ended and I'm still experiencing fatigue. I asked my oncologist if still being fatigued was normal at this stage and if I should expect improvements past this point.
The answers were resounding yes's to both questions.
This is another of the areas where every individual's experience will vary. My day-to-day situation is that I'm barely able to work a 40-hour week. If I work 40 hours and leave the house one night a week, that uses up all the energy I've got for the week. A second night out during the week requires an extra hour or two of sleep a couple of nights during the week. That gets a little tricky since I can only sleep about 6 hours straight before I wake up. I have to take a nap when I get off work and then try to still get at least 6 hours of sleep overnight.
I've pretty much lost one day of every weekend. I try to get at least 16 hours of sleep one day of every weekend. A year ago, I was only able to work about 4 hours without needing some sleep, so I'm making progress. It's just very slow progress and I'm having some trouble adapting to the loss of leisure time.
A complicating factor is the difficulty with eating. I probably spend 2 to 2-1/2 hours every day eating. I don't mean taking an hour for lunch. I mean requiring an hour to physically eat a small meal.
This situation has a name. It's called Cancer Fatigue. Probably everyone who has chemo and radiation will have it to some extent. Cancer Fatigue was never mentioned as one of the side effects I should expect. It's a serious complication. In severe cases, people are unable to work, which means they lose their insurance coverage.
I've been approved for a trial by the Mayo Clinic for a potential remedy to the fatigue problem. I'm getting either ginseng or a placebo. I don't have a lot of confidence in ginseng as a "cure". The trial is being done because so many cancer survivors are self-medicating with ginseng, that a trial is needed.
It's normal to have a loss of stamina and energy after radiation and chemo. It's almost 18 months since my treatments ended and I'm still experiencing fatigue. I asked my oncologist if still being fatigued was normal at this stage and if I should expect improvements past this point.
The answers were resounding yes's to both questions.
This is another of the areas where every individual's experience will vary. My day-to-day situation is that I'm barely able to work a 40-hour week. If I work 40 hours and leave the house one night a week, that uses up all the energy I've got for the week. A second night out during the week requires an extra hour or two of sleep a couple of nights during the week. That gets a little tricky since I can only sleep about 6 hours straight before I wake up. I have to take a nap when I get off work and then try to still get at least 6 hours of sleep overnight.
I've pretty much lost one day of every weekend. I try to get at least 16 hours of sleep one day of every weekend. A year ago, I was only able to work about 4 hours without needing some sleep, so I'm making progress. It's just very slow progress and I'm having some trouble adapting to the loss of leisure time.
A complicating factor is the difficulty with eating. I probably spend 2 to 2-1/2 hours every day eating. I don't mean taking an hour for lunch. I mean requiring an hour to physically eat a small meal.
This situation has a name. It's called Cancer Fatigue. Probably everyone who has chemo and radiation will have it to some extent. Cancer Fatigue was never mentioned as one of the side effects I should expect. It's a serious complication. In severe cases, people are unable to work, which means they lose their insurance coverage.
I've been approved for a trial by the Mayo Clinic for a potential remedy to the fatigue problem. I'm getting either ginseng or a placebo. I don't have a lot of confidence in ginseng as a "cure". The trial is being done because so many cancer survivors are self-medicating with ginseng, that a trial is needed.
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