Random Ramblings

Oncologist is so confident I'm clean (no cancer) that he delayed my 6-month CAT scan for 2 months.

My body is starting to adjust nicely to the 15 - 20 pound lighter version that it has achieved.

In anticipation of actually eating again, I sometimes give myself 2 cans of "food" at the same feeding to try to stretch my stomach a bit.

This would be a dieter's dream-come-true. Absolute calorie control and control of the size of my stomach. Except for that danged list of "no"s that I've got.

No:
-- Caffeine
-- Chocolate
-- Meat
-- Desserts
-- Adult beverages or soft drinks
-- And on, and on, and on, and on, and...

I can cheat the caffeine and beverages and put them straight into my stomach. Whooppee! There's a reason I like to drink tea or coffee instead of eating No-Doz.

I've discovered I enjoy the drinking part of adult beverages and am not thrilled with the effect that provides. I have the ultimate beer bong, but using it is really disappointing.

Swallowing feels "more right" now than it did. I think I'll get a swallow test scheduled around Halloween and I think I'll pass it.

I still need around 12 hours of sleep a day. That's insane, but I crash if I don't sleep that much, so I may as well plan on it.

I don't ever again want to hear my wife ask me if I want to take a walk and the only place I can go is up and down some hospital corridors. A "walk" is fresh air, sunshine, changing seasons - and all that goes along with that.

Living is the hard part. Dying is easy. I've done it twice and never even noticed.

There's no "Undo" button in life.

I've still got a few scabs on my neck from the radiation burns. The inside of my throat was burned just as badly, so I shouldn't be surprised that my throat is still in the healing stage.

If reading this made you want to go light up a cigarette, then you're missing the point pretty badly.