I Think It's Good-Bye, Moe

A great friend of mine dropped by today. Jerry Davy - everybody knows him as Moe.

Some background is in order here. Moe is a drummer. Best drummer I've every played with. He's played with Oscar Peterson, Herbie Hancock, and some other jazz greats. Moe taught me more about music in the years I played with him than anyone else I've met in my life.

Moe was a "do anything" handyman. A couple of years ago he helped me do some work on my house. Moe's idea of caulking was to do it so good that no critters would get into the house - and he meant bugs. I've lived in this house since it was new and I've never had as few bugs as after Moe showed me and helped me seal it up. Fewer bugs means fewer spiders, and I almost never see any in the house since we sealed it up.

Okay, one more story before I get into Moe's visit today. Pat McJimsey was a local music hero. Awesome blues guitar player and a very good blues and jazz singer. I play guitar and used to sing, but I'm not awesome.

Moe and I went to a jam that Pat hosted at The Spot. The place was an absolute dive, but it had character and personified the blues that used to be played in there. Every local guitar player's fear was to have to follow Pat on stage. Pat's band opened the gig, and I was the first guitar player called up for the next set. Moe and I had brought 20 or 30 of our friends with us. I did vocals and guitar and the supporting musicians we had were outstanding. We nailed the set.

Our friends were on the rowdy side and out to have some fun, so they went nuts. We got standing ovation after standing ovation. The place was exploding with noise from the crowd and absolutely on fire with excitement. We walked off the stage to yet another standing ovation. By now, it wasn't just our friends, it was the entire bar - probably 50 or 60 people.

Pat had gotten polite applause for his set, and he was not happy. Pat was REALLY not happy. For one night, I had owned him. He never let me on a stage where he had any control ever again. You had to know Pat to really understand this, but that was the best compliment Pat could ever have given another musician.

In addition to all that, Moe threw darts and was a sub for me from time to time. I think I've got my friendship with Moe put in perspective, so here's the actual reason this is here.

Moe has cancer. I saw him about 6 weeks ago and he was having some problems with his throat. He asked some questions about my cancer. I asked him some questions about what he was experiencing. He sometimes coughed past normal coughing and wanted privacy when he dealt with that. From what he said and what I observed, I thought he probably had cancer in his neck or throat.

Moe is 76, on Medicare, and the sole caregiver for his disabled wife, who has had some strokes, and has medical conditions that leave her basically waiting to die. Moe waited until there was no option but to see a doctor.

He has the same type of cancer I had, but the apparent spread of his is scary. I had a big lump. Moe never got that - he got several little lumps. Moe dropped by to talk to me today. He's going in for surgery Thursday (5 days from now) and wanted to know what to expect. I think he came over to say goodbye.

He's lost 30 pounds in the last 2 weeks. His throat is too sore for him to eat. My throat never got sore before I began treatment. We were discussing radiation and I was warning him of the residual damage. He's already lost saliva production, can't taste food, and can't eat. The only likely reason to lose saliva production before surgery and radiation is if the cancer has already killed the saliva glands.

Moe's cancer is on his vocal cords and in both sides of his neck. It also seems to be in his saliva glands. I suspect it will be found pretty much everywhere in his neck once they open him up.

This is going to seem cold and heartless, but once you've faced and considered the end of your time on this Earth, some taboos go away. My last words to Moe were that if he has anything in his life that has to be taken care of before Thursday, to get it done.

What's more sad than Moe's situation is that my friends who still smoke will pretty much ignore this because it's something that happens to "other people". Once it happens to you, the chances of it happening to you just hit 100%. Don't get caught off guard like I did. Moe quit smoking 6 weeks ago when he noticed the first symptoms of the cancer. The first symptoms didn't even seem to be anything that needed medical attention.