By Wednesday, it was pretty clear I had no chance of making it through the week. On Monday I thought I could make it. There was no doubt that was wrong on Wednesday. The escalation of throat irritation was worse than it had been in previous weeks.
Thursday morning I asked for a break from my treatments and asked for a feeding tube. As of Fridy at 5:00, I was still trying to get that surgery scheduled. After not having treatments for Thursday and Friday, plus the weekend, I thought I'd be making some level of recovery. That just isn't happening.
I keep dreaming that I can and am eating things. In reality, if I can get two bottles of Ensure plus enough water to keep me from dehydrating, that's a really good day for me. I lost 10 pounds this week. I only lost a total of 4 lbs. in the weeks leading up to this one.
I do not have a clue how to survive another 2-1/2 to 3 weeks of this.
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I'm so sorry, Merlin. When you didn't write, I was afraid that things were not going well with the radiation. It sounds like the treatment is worse than the disease.
Be assured that my family and I are in keeping you in our thoughts, and hope that true healing will come soon.
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